i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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