There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
