I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
