Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
