True but thats because hes a fetus.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
