Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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