i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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