I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
