i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
