The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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