Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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