i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
