who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i think my cat just said my name.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
