So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
