They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
