New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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