my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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