Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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