are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
