Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize