Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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