Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
