I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
