I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
