We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
