you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize