So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
