i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
