I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
