Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize