if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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