if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
