i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You're like the curious george of whores
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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