How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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