OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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