I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
