Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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