It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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