The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
