At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My feet surprised me
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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