By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
