you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
