is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
