its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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