I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
