do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
