So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
