We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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