Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize