what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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