I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
