Banned from zoo.
Again?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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