what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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