I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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