I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
