Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
