READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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